Being a parent comes with its fair share of challenges, but for Kate, an Oakmed ambassador, parenting a child with a stoma has been a journey of resilience, love, and unwavering support.
Her son, Albie, has a stoma, and while it has been life-changing for him, it has also brought its own set of difficulties.
This Mother’s Day, Kate shares what the day means to her, the reality of being a stoma mum, and her advice for other parents navigating similar paths.
What does Mother’s Day mean to you, and how do you like to celebrate?
Mother’s Day, for me, is about spending time with family. We don’t need anything fancy, just being together is enough. Albie has a sister who adores him, and the journey we’ve been on has been hard on her too.
So, this day is about all of us, celebrating as a family.
What are your biggest worries for Albie?
As a stoma mum, my biggest fear is that something will go wrong.
Living with a stoma means you’re in a constant state of worry, every small change could mean pain, complications, or more surgery. I know how much Albie hates hospitals now, and avoiding another stay is always on my mind.
What are some of the daily challenges you face as a parent of a child with a stoma?
One of the biggest challenges is leaks. As a teenager, I know it’s not easy for Albie to ask his mum for help, especially with something so personal. But I always tell him I’d rather help than let him struggle or feel embarrassed.
It does impact sleep and daily life, but no matter how many times he needs me, I’ll always be there.
How do you talk about Albie’s stoma with friends, family, and other parents?
Albie’s stoma is a part of our life, and we talk about it openly.
Our friends and family are really interested in learning about it, and we are happy to educate them. It’s something not many people see or hear about, so we don’t shy away from the conversation. We even have a nickname for his stoma – Fuller, because it saved his life, and we are proud of that.
What’s been the most rewarding part of your journey as a stoma mum?
Seeing how much the stoma has changed Albie’s life. Yes, there are challenges, but watching him go from being so unwell to thriving makes everything worth it.
The difference is incredible, and despite the struggles, I wouldn’t change the decision to have the surgery.
What’s one thing you wish more people understood about parenting a child with a stoma?
Many people assume that once a child has a stoma, everything is fixed, but that’s not the case. While it’s been a lifesaving change for Albie, it’s not a cure-all. He still faces challenges, and the worry never goes away.
I just ask that people be kind and understanding to parents with medical children, we are always carrying more than we show.
What advice would you give to other parents whose child has just had stoma surgery?
Don’t be afraid to talk about it. It’s a huge adjustment, and it usually comes after seeing your child extremely unwell. It’s okay to find it difficult, so lean on your support system.
One of the best things I did was speak to other ostomates to understand more about what Albie was going through. Stoma nurses are also an incredible resource, we love ours, and their support has made all the difference.
How will you and Albie be celebrating this Mother’s Day?
We’ll be having a roast dinner with family, and since we love card games, we’ll be spending time playing together. It’s the perfect way to celebrate.
What message do you have for other amazing stoma mums this Mother’s Day?
Happy Mother’s Day to all the stoma mums out there. Today is about celebrating everything you do, the strength you show, and the love you give.
Let your loved ones spoil you, because you deserve it.
A message from Albie to his mum…
“Thank you for always being there for me.”
A simple but powerful message. For every stoma mum out there, know that your support means the world to your child. Even in the hardest moments, you are their safe place, their rock, their everything.
Happy Mother’s Day!
