Living with a stoma can have a real impact on mental health. Changes to our body, how it looks and functions differently with a stoma, can affect how we see ourselves, leading to feelings of isolation, anxiety and depression. It is important to recognise these feelings and be able to reach out for help and support to navigate through these uncomfortable emotions.
While there’s lots of talk about the physical side of stoma surgery, it’s just as important to shine a light on mental health. Because looking after your mind is just as vital as caring for your body.
Why Mental Health Matters
Our own mental health influences how we think, feel, and act. For ostomates, this may become complex as adapting to life with a new stoma can be full of challenges and this can impact confidence, self-image, relationships, and independence. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed, especially in the early days, but you’re not alone, and there is support out there.
Common Mental Health Challenges Faced by Ostomates
Every ostomate’s journey is unique, but some shared emotional challenges can include:
Body image concerns – learning to accept a new look and feel.
Anxiety in public or social situations – particularly around leaks or noise.
Depression or low mood – related to loss of control or grief for your “old self” and concerns about what the future brings
Fatigue and emotional exhaustion – due to recovering from surgery and managing a long-term condition.
These feelings are valid and are more common than you think.
Recognising the Signs of Poor Mental Health
Sometimes it’s hard to spot the signs in ourselves. Keep an eye out for:
- Constant worry or overthinking
- Feeling disconnected from others
- Trouble sleeping or changes in appetite
- Lack of motivation or joy in things you once enjoyed
- Avoiding social situations
If you’re experiencing any of these regularly, it’s okay to reach out.
The Importance of Self-Care
Self-care isn’t a luxury, it’s a lifeline. Make space in your week for things that make you feel good and grounded. That might be:
- Taking a walk outside
- Reading a good book
- Journaling your thoughts
- Listening to music or a podcast
- Practicing mindfulness or meditation
Doing small, kind things for yourself helps recharge your emotional batteries.
Coping Strategies That Work
Coping doesn’t look the same for everyone. Here are a few tried-and-tested tips:
- Join an ostomy support group (in-person or online)
- Speak to a mental health professional – therapy can be life-changing
- Practice grounding techniques (like deep breathing or 5-4-3-2-1 method).
Give yourself permission to feel, there’s no ‘right’ way to cope.
Building Confidence as an Ostomate
Confidence takes time, but it’s absolutely possible. Wearing clothes that make you feel good, trying new activities, or even just managing your stoma independently can boost your sense of self. Remind yourself how far you’ve come, even on tough days.
Talking to Friends and Loved Ones
You don’t have to go through this alone. Talk to the people you trust about how you’re feeling. You might be surprised at how supportive they are. Start small, be honest, and remember that sharing your story can deepen your connections. (If you’re reading this as a friend of an ostomate, you can read more about supporting a friend with a stoma here).
Words from Our Ambassadors
Our ambassadors often remind us just how powerful mindset can be in managing both physical and emotional health after stoma surgery. Their lived experiences offer encouragement, honesty, and hope to others on similar journeys. Here’s what they had to say:
Oktober
“One thing I’ve learned from having a stoma is that life doesn’t always go to plan, but it’s how you choose to look at it that matters. Take the highs when you have them; they’ll carry you through the tough days. When I first had my surgery, I read a quote that said ‘beautiful things can bloom from the seeds of the most difficult times’. I remind myself that it’s not a race, we all reach a good place in our own time. You have to be on your own journey, and you will get there.”
Ed
“I always remind myself that my stoma saved my life. It’s easy to get caught up in the challenges, but when I think about where I was before surgery, it really puts things into perspective.
I also think about how much support is out there now. The range of products available to help us live our best lives is incredible, and it makes such a difference. Knowing I’m not alone in this journey helps me stay positive every day.”
Kate and Albie
“Focus on how far you’ve come, and embrace the journey you’ve been on. A stoma can help you continue building the life that you deserve.”
Kathryn
“Spending time in nature and getting out in the fresh air really helps my mental health. I love being by the sea, swimming when I can or just sitting on the beach and listening to the waves. On tough days, it can be hard to find the motivation to leave the house, but I’ve learned that the less I feel like doing it, the more I probably need it and I always feel better afterwards.”
You’re doing better than you think and you’re not alone! Whether you’re newly adjusting to life with a stoma or years into your journey, your mental health deserves care, kindness, and attention.
Mental Health Resources
Here are some organisations offering fantastic mental health support:
- Mind – mind.org.uk
- Mental Health Foundation – mentalhealth.org.uk
- Anxiety UK – anxietyuk.org.uk
- NHS: Every Mind Matters – nhs.uk/every-mind-matters
- Samaritans – https://www.samaritans.org/
- CALM – https://www.thecalmzone.net/
- Togetherall – https://togetherall.com/
- Shout 85258 – https://giveusashout.org/
